Don’t Squirm Away from The Pre-outcome Sweet Spot

Don't Squirm out of The Pre-outcome Sweet Spot -christyfitzwater.com

“You’re taxes are done,” she said over the phone. Cue fight-or-flight reaction.

I was terrified about our taxes this year (as opposed to just being afraid the other years.) Our circumstances had changed drastically, in addition to the new tax law changes. We had made adjustments to our quarterly tax payments, but in my wildest imagination, I pictured the accountant saying, “You owe $15,000.”

It was a ten-minute drive from our house to the tax office. Ten minutes before I would know the outcome. My knee-jerk reaction involved profuse sweating and heart palpitations.

Except I realized this was a precious time –the time of not knowing. It was an opportunity for me either to cave in to panic or to worship.

I could hear the calm voices of Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego. (You don’t mind if I compare going to the accountant over taxes to being thrown into the fiery furnace, do you?)

If we are thrown into the blazing furnace, the God we serve is able to save us from it, and he will rescue us from your hand, O king. But even if he does not, we want you to know, O king, that we will not serve your gods or worship the image of gold you have set up.  (Daniel 3:17-18 NIV)

They could have freaked out. I wouldn’t have blamed those three guys for having a full-blown panic attack. But they had stood in worship of the true God, so why fall to their knees now? (Maybe anxiety is some kind of golden image, and when the horns and harps and all kinds of instruments play we’re just expected to drop to our knees and worship it.)

This is a lesson on outcomes: maybe God will save us from the worst that could happen. Maybe not.

Dallas Willard, in Life without Lack, says:

Let the worst happen! Let the worst happen, and God and I will go on together in the abundance of his being.

On my way to the tax office, I reasoned that it was possible we had miscalculated our quarterly payments and would owe thousands, but surely God would help us get through that. Or at best we wouldn’t have to pay anything. That was my dream. But no matter. Either way I could worship the God who takes cares of his people.

So I worshiped. Ten minutes of drawing from the deep well of Bible verses tucked away in my heart. Ten minutes of remembering that God can do the impossible and that he never leaves his people and that he loves us and is watching over our lives.

Ten beautiful minutes in a Mitsubishi sanctuary. Glory came down.

That brings me to today and the three people on my prayer list who desperately need jobs sooner rather than later. Do you know what I’m praying for them? Well certainly that God will provide jobs, and of course he will take care of that. But more of my energy is going toward praying for these three people–who feel like maybe they’re on their way to the fiery furnace–that they will stand and worship. I’m praying their chins will lift and their eyes turn to heaven and that this heart-stopping waiting time will be glorious.

Because I’m discovering that the weeks and months and days right before the outcome are the sweet spot of knowing God. This is when we can show him that we absolutely trust him and think he’s wonderful. Anyone could love God when all turns out well and the ending is hunky dory, but we can demonstrate deep, sincere love for our Lord when we worship just before we know our fate.

If you’re in that waiting place today, I urge you to stand. Stand and worship. Do not drop to your knees in fear of the false, disappointing god of anxiety. You’ll miss out on all the goodness of what it means to know God in the uncertainty.

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13 Comments

  1. thieutiet says:

    I LOVE this, and totally agree:
    “Because I’m discovering that the weeks and months and days right before the outcome are the sweet spot of knowing God. This is when we can show him that we absolutely trust him and think he’s wonderful. Anyone could love God when all turns out well and the ending is hunky dory, but we can demonstrate deep, sincere love for our Lord when we worship just before we know our fate.”
    Especially: “Anyone could love God when all turns out well…” So true.

    Now, will you tell us how your ending turned out? Hopefully not 15,000 owed 🙂 Pray tell.

    1. We ended up getting just enough of a tax return to pay for the fridge that went out in our rental house the day before! The Lord’s kind provision. I didn’t share that, because I wanted the post to be about when you don’t know how things have turned out yet. 🙂

  2. Maybe anxiety is some kind of golden image, and when the horns and harps and all kinds of instruments play we’re just expected to drop to our knees and worship it.

    Oh, my goodness, did this hit the nail on the head for me. I do bow does the second my feelings start talking. Thank you for opening my eyes!

    1. I think we all do that! It takes a long re-training of our minds to respond differently.

  3. Claudia C Chapman says:

    Christy,
    I, and many who are very dear to me have had a multitude of opportunities the past six months to wait on the Lord, to wonder ‘how things are going to work out.” You are so right, in almost every case, things were very dark right before the “dawn” of God moving in an unmistakable way. I realized the other day, I am so quick to fall on my face in petitioning God regarding a particular concern or need, but I need to be just a quick to rise and praise Him while I wait! We grow so much more in times of trials and uncertainty than in times of comfort. We don’t ever ask for these life situations—at least I don’t! But the refiner’s fire is not a terrible place to be if you know Who is in there with you, and He loves you enough to allow you to be purified. I know I can count on Him to close the lion’s mouth! Thank you again for sharing your encouragement ? Those of us who lived through the Paradise fires are moving out all over the country, newly fitted to share the hope we have in Jesus with new neighbors in new places. God is good.

    1. You give a beautiful testimony, dear friend. I pray the Lord will continue to provide for all of your needs, physical and emotional, and give you unending reasons to sing his praise!

  4. Perfect timing, Christy! ??
    I’m there RIGHT NOW! Trusting the Lord for His provision of a nee career change that will cover my needs {a recently single-again woman, supporting herself}, and having to move from a too-expensive apartment; its lease ends just during this necessary job transition. I’m waiting for my tax return to show up at just the time I need it, because the finances are tight… It’s hard to wait. Tricky to juggle the timing of things. A bit nail-biting to believe it’s all going to work out on time! BUT my Lord is so worthy of all the trust I can muster up during this “scary” time! When I read a recent devotional page, I read two passages: Psalm 92, beginning with the reminder that God is worthy to be given all glory and the praise! And 1 Peter 2, which ends with the fact of my “glory” being like a little field flower that fades and falls. It made me REJOICE! To know I’m just a little, fleeting thing whom He loves with reckless abandon & care anyway, and that HE’S the God of Glory that will Endure Forever! What a sweet place to be! ??? Adds to the amazing, exhilarating feeling of Great Adventure, knowing He’s got me all the way!
    Thanks for your words! I know the Lord is watching over and blessing you as well … even if things still look at all daunting for you? {You didn’t say…?} Hang in, and hang tight for a God-led adventure! ? love, tina

    1. *NEW career… ?

    2. Waiting on multiple fronts -that’s crazy hard! It takes some serious mental and heart work to continue to have faith through such a season. I pray the Lord will provide for you from every direction. (And we ended up getting just enough money back on our taxes, to pay for the fridge that we had to replace the day before in our rental house. You’re right that it’s an adventure to trust in the Lord!)

      1. Ellen Sowins says:

        ??????? trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.

  5. SO germaine to my life right now. I am waiting for something like I have never waited before. Literally feels like my entire future hangs in the balance, practically, but especially emotionally. Thank you for the reminder I so much need that God is trustworthy and good even BEFORE I know the outcome!

    1. I think sometimes our futures do hang in the balance, and we so badly want to write the ending. May the Lord continue to encourage your heart and help you to worship and enjoy him right now, before you know the ending. It’s going to be okay.

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