Who Is God When Your Heart Is Heavy?

It was 1:30 a.m., and I was awake worrying about…things. You know how it is, because you have your own stuff on your mind this week that keeps making your shoulders sag and your sighs loud.

I got out of bed, to move around and try to get my thoughts going in a different direction, but I couldn’t shift my thinking.

I was praying the prayer I always pray when my heart is trying to hold up more pounds than my legs can support without wobbling.

Lord.

Sometimes that’s all I can get out. One word.

Help.

For a long time I prayed, until my crying out was interrupted by a low rumble. I stopped to listen. Airplane or thunder? Probably airplane. We’re just five minutes from the local airport. But it’s a little airport, so this wasn’t the normal flight time.

Kept moaning out my prayer to the Lord.

The rumble came again.

No, I think that’s thunder.

I went upstairs and, in the light of the front porch, saw a few raindrops landing on the steps. Moving to the front window, I leaned my head against the window frame. Could feel the cool of the night coming from the glass.

Lord, if you would just speak to me through one roll of thunder–so I can feel you’re here with me. I need to feel that you’re going to take care of me and all these things I’m bringing to you tonight. Just one roll.

I waited long, watching the rain come harder and the flag on the neighbor’s house whip crazy in the wind. Praying.

Needing God to be real for me in the night.

Lightning lit the whole sky.

Thunder pealed.

Thank you, Lord, I said. Comforted by his show of power.

But still the weight pressed on my soul. Would I ever be able to sleep again tonight?

Back downstairs I grabbed my Bible and hoped for a message in words, to follow the message from the sky. These are the very first words I read…

I went to sleep with those words striking light in my thoughts.

Ask the LORD for rain in the spring time. 

Ask the LORD.

He is a God who answers.