If You Could Do This One Thing for Somebody

Okay, you’re going to say I’m weird, but this is just how I think y’all…

It’s really cool to plan your dad’s funeral and your daughter’s wedding in the same year. Now don’t be depressed with that thought, because I’m not. Stay with me.

Since mid December when that girl of mine started flashing a sparkly on her fourth finger, I’ve done nothing but ask her questions. I had refrained for the dating years, because I didn’t want to rush life, but now it was time to think about it.

What kind of cake? No piping. No flowers. Simple.

What kind of dress? No lace. No ruffles. No floofy. 

What kind of service? Short. No slide show. Nothing fancy.

That’s her.

And this week, with my arms wrapped around my red-eyed momma, we’ve been asking the same kind of questions.

What kind of coffin? No expense. No curves. Not shiny. 

What kind of clothes? No suit. Sunday jeans. Wool socks.

What kind of poem? Nothing canned. No sappy lines. Nothing spelled the way it would be in an English dictionary. 

Could you custom fit your service to fit the person?  -christyfitzwater.com

Today I will view my dad in a casket, and I thought when I woke up this morning I would sob until my head split like I did yesterday morning when I saw his orange plastic glass by the sink –the one he got mad if we washed. Instead I thought, Wow, I got to help plan my dad’s funeral, and it just fits him. It’s his flavor, and people will have a hard time staying sad when they hear the Bar J Wranglers sing during the viewing today. 

Weddings and funerals should just fit a person, and I’m going to toss this out to you today –our service to people should always just fit them.

The last few days we’ve said, dozens of times, That would make dad happy.

And I wonder –what if we were to ask that about our people on a regular basis? What would make my husband happy this morning? (Well, I think we all know the answer to that question.) What could I do that would just fit who my son is? How could I bring a smile to the school secretary?

My dad lived this way. Even if he was just talking to a sales clerk or a nurse taking his blood pressure, he always acted like he had the question on the tip of his thoughts –what would make this person happy right this moment? Which is why the meat trays and cards and hugs haven’t stopped since the minute I got home. He thought about how to get a smile out of people, and he was good at it.

Of course, it helps if your eyes crinkle up all smiley in the corners when you see people. That’s the trick.

“Serve one another in love.” (Galatians 5:13 NIV)


  1. Becky Blakely says:

    So sorry for your loss. Dads hold such an important place in our lives. Praying for you and your family during this difficult time. It seems like so often new life is paired with loss in our lives. Thank you for the messages you share here. The wisdom and insights you share are so helpful and such good reminders. I really appreciate them.

  2. Just recently saw these posts and have prayed for you each time I’ve re-read them. So thankful you have the beautiful testimony of your father to share with us. Every day has its own purpose. Don’t push away the ones that are sad and difficult, and don’t rush through the ones that are happy and filled with laughter. Every day is important; every day is God’s.

  3. Cristy, so sorry to hear about your father. But…congratulations on your daughter getting married. You are in for a huge change this year, hey? Thanks again for sharing, i loved it.

  4. Karen Cook says:

    Christy ~ hi! I have never met you, but I want to tell you what a beautiful piece you wrote about your Dad, AND about life. It was VERY touching. I remember your Dad, my cousin, well. I was very young the last time I saw Roger, and I remember just what a cool and good-looking guy I thought he was. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and the picture w/everyone – it means a lot, especially since we can’t be there for the funeral. May God comfort you all and get you through everything in life w/happiness and knowing, that your Dad will always be right there w/you! Much Love Always, cousin Karen (Stillwell) Cook

    1. Karen, how precious to hear from you! Dad was a cool and good-looking guy. 🙂 I told mom I heard from you, and she was very touched. Thanks for the note!

      1. Karen (Stillwell) Cook says:

        Thank you Christy. How IS your mom doing? Please tell her I say hi, and give her a big hug from me, ok? I can’t express enough just how sorry I feel for ALL of you! You are still in my thoughts and prayers and I hope that you are all doing well. Much Love to you all!!! Karen

        1. She’s actually doing very well right now. Of course, the hard, lonely days are ahead. Thanks for the love!

          1. I’ll be thinking about you all ~ God Bless.

  5. Even this picture of your Dad makes me feel happy. 🙂 Be blessed, sweet sister.

  6. Shelbey Dutter says:

    Beautiful! Hugs, Shelbey

  7. I can’t tell you how much you’ve been on my heart and in my prayers this week! And I somehow feel like I know your dad a little bit – even if I never met him. How blessed you were to have a dad such as him! Sending a hug from Oregon….

  8. So sorry to hear about your dad!!! I know the pain you are going through. He looked lime a happy person.

  9. What a beautiful glimpse into the personality of your father. He sounds like the kind of man one would like to emulate. No tears were shed until I read that ” people will have a hard time staying sad when they hear the Bar J Wranglers sing during the viewing today.” Thinking and praying for you and your precious family today.

    1. Lori, just before the funeral began we were in the side room. The pastor was leading us in prayer, and one of the silly Bar J songs came on. I had a hard time not laughing out loud. It was a very cheerful sound to hear in the background!

  10. This is beautiful. Love you, Christy.

  11. Karen Beeler says:

    Christy, I am so sorry for your loss. You are all in my prayers. What a beautifully written blog!

  12. I’m so sorry for you loss. He sounds like a wonderful example of how we should live more like Christ. God bless.

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