Okay, you’re going to say I’m weird, but this is just how I think y’all…
It’s really cool to plan your dad’s funeral and your daughter’s wedding in the same year. Now don’t be depressed with that thought, because I’m not. Stay with me.
Since mid December when that girl of mine started flashing a sparkly on her fourth finger, I’ve done nothing but ask her questions. I had refrained for the dating years, because I didn’t want to rush life, but now it was time to think about it.
What kind of cake? No piping. No flowers. Simple.
What kind of dress? No lace. No ruffles. No floofy.
What kind of service? Short. No slide show. Nothing fancy.
And this week, with my arms wrapped around my red-eyed momma, we’ve been asking the same kind of questions.
What kind of coffin? No expense. No curves. Not shiny.
What kind of clothes? No suit. Sunday jeans. Wool socks.
What kind of poem? Nothing canned. No sappy lines. Nothing spelled the way it would be in an English dictionary.
Today I will view my dad in a casket, and I thought when I woke up this morning I would sob until my head split like I did yesterday morning when I saw his orange plastic glass by the sink –the one he got mad if we washed. Instead I thought, Wow, I got to help plan my dad’s funeral, and it just fits him. It’s his flavor, and people will have a hard time staying sad when they hear the Bar J Wranglers sing during the viewing today.
Weddings and funerals should just fit a person, and I’m going to toss this out to you today –our service to people should always just fit them.
The last few days we’ve said, dozens of times, That would make dad happy.
And I wonder –what if we were to ask that about our people on a regular basis? What would make my husband happy this morning? (Well, I think we all know the answer to that question.) What could I do that would just fit who my son is? How could I bring a smile to the school secretary?
My dad lived this way. Even if he was just talking to a sales clerk or a nurse taking his blood pressure, he always acted like he had the question on the tip of his thoughts –what would make this person happy right this moment? Which is why the meat trays and cards and hugs haven’t stopped since the minute I got home. He thought about how to get a smile out of people, and he was good at it.
Of course, it helps if your eyes crinkle up all smiley in the corners when you see people. That’s the trick.
“Serve one another in love.” (Galatians 5:13 NIV)