Is It The Holidays But You Feel Dark on The Inside?

Is It The Holidays But You Feel Dark on The Inside?

My guys left the house Wednesday afternoon wearing hunter’s orange and carrying three tags.

But they only filled one tag, and it came home attached to an evergreen.

So now we have a Christmas tree in our living room, cut from the backside of Blacktail Mountain. (I told them not to come home if it wasn’t the perfect tree. They said they almost had to stay in a hotel room for the night, until they spotted it.)

Tonight we’ll pull out the Rubbermaid and plug in the strands of bulbs to make sure they work. We’ll wrap them round and round and round. We’ll hang crystal ornaments and drape tinsel threads one by one. The kids will D.J. an eclectic mix of Christmas music until we have genre whiplash. Then will be the moment when the momma makes hot chocolate with peppermint melted in it, the house lights go down, and the Christmas tree lights are plugged in.

But right now the tree is dark.

Like my insides. I’ve been so busy, since I was hired to teach Spanish in August, that I’ve been spending time with Jesus the way a 12-year-old boy spends time cleaning his room.

I’ve been feeling lonely –the kind of lonely that being in a room full of people can’t soothe.

An unlit soul.

About Jesus we read:

In him was life, and that life was the light of men. The light shines in the darkness…  (John 1:5 NIV)

That life.

That light.

We can get busy, busy, busy, busy. No time for being filled. No time for depth of relationship that brings meaning to what we do all day long. Before the tree trimming, we need Jesus, wrapped round and round and round and round.

Can you carve out some time to spend with the light of men today?


  1. I am a teacher, too. The summer is great, but then comes school. In the summer I can read the Bible and pray for hours, but when school starts, that time gets dropped to an hour and a half. I have to get up extra early to get it in and am honestly so tired or my mind is swimming with all the thoughts of things I need to do that the time is not worth a whole lot. But then comes Saturday. Not a single chore is done until I have sat at the well of Living Water until I have been filled. My house never gets completely cleaned. There is always something left undone, but my spirit is renewed each week. I wouldn’t be able to survive the school year otherwise.

    I know this is new to you this year. I know exactly how painfully lonely it is. I dread the coming school year during the summer, and hate when it begins because I know what it means. I’m going to remind you of somethings you already know. God is faithful. He is with you even when you can’t feel Him. He never stops working in you. Even when you think your faith has gone stagnant or even slipped back, He is working. He is using us where we are for His purposes. And it is very possible that He takes us into these times with the intent of building our faith and teaching us new truths we might otherwise miss.

    God bless you, Christy. I know you are feeling dry now, and it stinks. God has not left you and He is carrying you now. Keep praise and worship going around you all the time. That will help. Leave the Christian radio station on and playing in your home, and even low in your classroom all day long. Keep the name of Jesus in the air and coming from your lips as much as you can…because there is something about that name. It will help.


    1. Oh wow -I really needed this encouragement from another teacher. It is a very consuming job, isn’t it? I will definitely look forward to the slow mental pace of summer!! Thanks for the kind words.

  2. AMEN! Love this 🙂

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