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Am I in This Thing Alone?

When life hurts, do you feel like you've been left to handle it all alone?  -christyfitzwater.com

She was old enough to sit up by herself but not mobile enough to move from that position, so when I came home from the grocery store I plopped her down on a blanket and put a few toys in front of her. Then I went to the car for the first load of groceries. I had to walk past a window on my way out, where I could see her clearly. That meant she was out of my view for about 10 seconds. Maybe 12.

The window was open on that warm summer day, so I could hear her immediately begin to cry when I left the room. When she saw me walk by the window she stopped crying.

When I moved past the window she started crying again.

Silly girl, I thought. Your mommy isn’t gone just because you can’t see her. If you would just have patience for a few minutes.

A few times in the last week life has felt so hard that I’ve found myself saying, Lord, are you there?

But always that warm day comes to mind –me carrying food in hand and that sweet little thing of mine wailing because she thought I had deserted her forever.

So I say to myself, Silly girl. You know God hasn’t left you just because you can’t see him right this second. Patience. Patience. 

“…I am with you always…” (Matthew 28:20 NASB)



  1. Gloria Hanson says:

    Oh, Christy, you are so visual and you help me be also. How I want to see my Lord in the flesh but instead he has sent “ministering angels” like you to help in the darkness. We do need each other in this life, don’t we. Blessings to you!

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