When You Feel Three Steps Back in Relationships

One is four and the other is two. They are brothers.

Yesterday, when I had my grandsons over to my house, the eldest asked the youngest sweetly if he could please play with a few of the toy horses. The youngest said a cheerful yes and shared.

Then the eldest did a quiet, hostile takeover, to add more horses to his own inventory. The two-year-old screamed, got up, and promptly grabbed two fistfuls of his brother’s hair. (How that was even possible, I don’t know, because the four-year-old has a summer buzz cut. But his little brother got enough hair in his precious dimpled fingers to cause pain.) Immediately both boys were screaming.

After putting on my referee shirt, I said, “You know, we’re learning to be kind and to share with one another. Sometimes we’re good at it and sometimes we aren’t.”

“My little brother isn’t good at it,” said the eldest, oblivious to his own culpability.

Yeah, well, I’m not sure I’m very good at it either, kid, I thought.

Sometimes I’m that sweet woman who overflows with love and generosity. Sometimes I’m not. It makes me wonder if I’m really very far ahead of these two little boys, in my development of loving my fellow man. Although it has been a very, very long time since I’ve pulled someone’s hair in anger, it hasn’t been that long since I’ve wanted to.

“Love one another,” Jesus says twice in John 13:34. This is me in real life, along with the little boys, taking two steps forward and three steps back. But I keep encouraging their momma that two steps forward matters, and I’m thankful that Jesus is patient with me as I keep inching forward in love.

I mean, I don’t want to act like I’m two.

Lord, help me.  

2 Comments

  1. Annie Westphal says:

    Christy, your honesty and humility are such a breath of fresh air! I laughed at your comment about wanting to pull someone else’s hair. I can so relate to being both sweet and capable of wanting to pitch a fit, sometimes only moments apart. I told my friends more than once during the Covid insanity – “If I make it through each day without biting someone, it feels like a win.” You give me hope I am not alone in my struggles to be constantly kind and overflowing with grace. Thank you!

Comments are closed.