It seems old fashioned now, but my family used to go to prayer meeting. A generous handful of us would exchange warm, family-style greetings and then get cozy in the church pews. Then people would start making prayer requests. Somebody would ask us to pray for their aunt who was having surgery. Somebody else would ask us to pray that God would provide him a job. Another person would ask us to pray for the salvation of a family member.
But somebody would always raise her hand and say, “I have an unspoken request.” Heads would nod in respectful recognition. The pastor would say, “Thank you.”
I’d be thinkin’, Oh, come on. What is it? Way more curious than concerned.
Now I’m an adult women with a blog, and I’m understanding it now. Some things are too personal to broadcast to the world. This is one of my greatest in frustrations in writing to you. My goal is to tell you what God is teaching me and helping me with today. But sometimes I get to the keyboard and think, Nope, can’t talk about that. Or that. Or that.
One time a friend told me I needed to invite people to guest post for me here, because I would get tired of writing sometimes or run out of stuff to say. No way. I never run out of stuff to say.
I do, however, run out of stuff I can say. Often the things God is working on in my life involve people who wouldn’t appreciate showing up in a blog post or revolve around issues that require great discretion.
Sometimes the Lord is simply doing something so deep and intimate inside my soul that it’s too wonderfully private to share. Bad for blogging –great for feeling loved and cared for at a personal level.
In her book, Unseen: The Gift of Being Hidden in a World That Loves To Be Noticed, Sara Hagerty says:
God wants to be our friend in the way that friends share more than high-fives and occasional help. He wants to share hearts and stories and inner lives.
King Solomon gives us this wisdom:
The lamp of the LORD searches the spirit of a man;
it searches out his inmost being.
Proverbs 20:27 (NIV)
Isn’t this wonderful? I can’t imagine anything I long for more than to be known by someone in my inmost being –to be known and understood and still loved. It’s sometimes terrifying. Always intimate. Often too personal to fling onto the internet for all eyes to see.
Though I’m a writer, my heart is increasingly full of the unspoken work God is doing.
Jesus carries a lamp, which I picture to be an antique, with a dripping candle encased behind glass. Have you invited him to swing his light in the deepest, most hidden places of your heart? If you long for behind-the-door work in your life, God is waiting to join you there.
Just between you and him.