Define Carefully Who You Are

My dear friends,

There is a video going around the internet right now, of a man speaking to women about who they are. It is well-intentioned and is meant to speak value into the lives of women, which is so desperately needed, but the content has me upset. I lost sleep over it last night and may have ruined the last few hours of my vacation stewing about it this afternoon.

So if I may express my concerns at the risk of offending…

  • The man in the video says women are powerful, but the gospel tells us Christ died for us while we were powerless (Romans 5:6). Women are not powerful on their own. We lean completely on the strength of Christ.
  • This man says women deserve to have someone die for them. The gospel tells us Christ died for the ungodly who deserve the wrath of God (Colossians 1:11, John 3:36). We are not good enough to merit the sacrifice of Christ and his gift of life. The cross is a gift of grace that we do not deserve.
  • This man says women must look inside themselves and find that inner powerful woman. The gospel tells us we must deny ourselves every day and follow Christ (Luke 9:23). We are to look outward toward Christ, not inward toward self.

Where does our value come from?

Is it within us and we just have to find it somehow?

Is it because someone tells us we’re beautiful?

No, we are valuable because Christ created us and loves us. He brings the value to us.

How do you decide who you are and what you are worth?  -christyfitzwater.com

In a time when so many women are wounded, abandoned, or unloved, we must take care to speak to one another the whole gospel. This includes the truth of our own wretched weakness and sinfulness, coupled with glorious hope of rescue, undeserved qualification, eternal belonging, and tender care offered to us in the death and resurrection of Christ.

Use the full gospel to define who you are.


  1. The thing I love about you is that you speak the truth in love. And by the way, I love the pictures of Lake Louise. Just like I remember. . .

      1. When on tour with the continental singers. We sang at the big hotel in banff and toured the area. Fun memories!

        1. I loved that hotel! Matt and I had fun wandering inside there for a long time. We didn’t sing, though. 🙂

  2. At the risk of sounding like I’m repeating what’s already been said by the others…I’m fairly certain I began watching this video this morning and my spirit had the same troubled response. I greatly appreciate how clearly you’ve laid out what is the problem with this kind of thinking. Amen, Sister! So thankful for your minisry in my life.

    1. His video made me send up a prayer that I would always be careful to speak truth into the lives of women -and I add you to that prayer, my dear blogger friend. May only truth come from these typing fingers of ours. God help us!

  3. I saw the video, and something about it didn’t quite feel right, but I couldn’t put my finger on it. Thank you for writing this post!

    1. I know. At first it seemed so good, but then it made my spirit squirm. Of course, I’ve been teaching a Bible study on Colossians and just spent one whole class time talking about Paul’s definition of the gospel, so I was especially sensitive to this.

  4. I saw a post of this on my fb wall and skipped it; I am so glad The Lord kept you awake and gave you words to address it so that Truth could be shared. We must learn to examine what we hear/ read in light of Scripture alone.

    1. Yes, women are so hungry to be validated that they will soak up anything that sounds encouraging, often without considering whether what they’re hearing is true or not.

  5. I haven’t seen the video you’re referring to, but I could not agree more with everything you said! In this day and age of independence, we are programmed to think of self-worth as the fix for our every problem, when actually just the opposite is true. Thank you for standing so boldly for the truth.

    1. People certainly are floundering to try to figure out how to know they are valuable. How desperately we need to preach the gospel!

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