I had a hard day.
Matt called me when I was driving home, and I blubbered all of it to him. Apologized. Hung up.
Then I got home and cried some more. Pulled it together to go get pizza and enjoy it with the family, until the layered stressors of the day crawled up my back and forced tears out again.
So I quietly got up and put on tennis shoes. I’m going for a walk, I said, on my way out the front door.
Matt said, Wait! I’ll go with you.
That’s okay, I said.
Just wait for me. I’m getting my shoes, he said.
Well, we weren’t past the end of the driveway when I was crying again. (Why do men marry us, I wonder often.) With all his counseling skills Matt tried to figure out what specifically I was crying about. Except, come one. Does there have to be something specific? Can’t a girl just cry about everything sometimes?
Really, I was kind of annoyed that Matt joined me on my walk, mostly because I was heading out to have a good cry for a mile and see if I could figure out my weepy woman’s heart. I said to him, You don’t want to be with me right now, because I’m all a mess.
He said, Isn’t that when you need me the most?
It’s good to be pursued.
Girls, that’s who we are, and that’s who God is. We’re mostly a mess. God says, Are you okay? And when he does we push him away and say, I’m fine. But really we’re not. Hello, it’s not like he can’t look at us and tell in half a second that we’re struggling.
Because God “forms the hearts of all.” (Psalm 33:15 NIV)
And when we least feel like being with him, that’s when we need him the most.
Matt brought a pocket full of Kleenex on the walk. The man knew what he was in for.
But he put on tennis shoes and joined me on purpose.
In the same way, will we open up and let God join us when we’re having a hard day?