Facing the Dilemma of Work or Homemaking
At the beginning of the year, I started telling the Lord that I really needed a better paying job to survive inflation. The part-time, entry level job I was in just wasn’t cutting it anymore. On the side, in March I became a certified Dave Ramsey financial coach and then spent months and hundreds of hours learning about finances. My excitement grew, as I dreamed of helping people in my city with their finances one-on-one. But all of my endeavors to get my name out there has led to zero coaching. Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but I have purposefully continued to thank God for all of the dead ends.
In June, I was called back by the managers of my pharmacy and informed that I was making too many mistakes at work, and they felt like I wasn’t even trying to do a good job and that if something didn’t change I would be let go. That night I looked honestly at myself and admitted that although I had always tried to be a conscientious employee, I am scatterbrained and have always been scatterbrained, and there was a hormonal element with some legitimate brain fog that had rolled in at my season of life. The next day I turned in my resignation.
So there I sat at the age of 56, discouraged at my inability to do the coaching work I longed to do and humiliated as I stared at my ineptitude in an entry-level job. I grieved the sudden loss of sweet relationships with co-workers and patients that I had enjoyed at the pharmacy. After beginning the year asking the Lord for more income, I was now unemployed. It was hard. I was brought low, and the word failure kept swirling inside of my thoughts.
I didn’t know what to do with myself. What now, Lord?
A long-time internal battle was fanned back into flame, with decades of yearning to be a homemaker on one side, our need for my income on another side, and my desire to do meaningful work that I enjoy on yet another side. I’ve always struggled with feeling guilty that I just want to stay at home and make dinner, fold laundry, and manage our home. Now I have Dave Ramsey’s radio personalities in my head, barking at me to go get a job and raise our income. I groaned at the thought of going and getting just any job to get a paycheck. For three-and-a-half years I had been an office assistant at the compounding pharmacy, and my teacher’s heart had grown increasingly hungry to get back out into the world where I could learn and share what I’ve learned. But a paycheck? How would that work? What was the right thing to do? Which direction should I go? Should we just try to make it on Matt’s income and drastically change our lifestyle? I spent hours online looking at job openings and being disappointed–hours thinking and praying and looking.
Meanwhile, my daughter had our third grandchild, and I thanked God for my unemployment and my ability to go help her weekly with her three little ones. Not having to work was a gift.
I came across Proverbs 8, which is beautiful and profound Scripture that talks about wisdom being at the right hand of God as he created the world. Wisdom was the Master Craftsman at the Lord’s side. At the same time, I was teaching a woman’s Bible study at church from James 1, in which I read that if I lack wisdom in a trial, I should ask God who gives generously to all without finding fault. So I’ve been praying for the Master Craftsman to be at my side, in this strange season where uncertainty has been my companion for months now. Counting on his generosity, I calmed down and have asked Wisdom three questions:
How can I contribute to our family’s income?
How can I stay at home and be a good manager in our household and a grandma to my three grandchildren and a pastor’s wife?
How can I get out into the world and use my gifts in a meaningful way?
Are these not questions that live in the heart of every woman? And don’t they seem impossible? Doesn’t it seem that if you answer one well, the others must suffer? A full-time job would answer the income question but dampen the homemaking/grandma question. I so badly want all three questions to be fulfilled in my life. I want it all, I whispered boldly to the Lord. Quietly I have prayed, raising these needs and desires to the Lord over and over–praying to Wisdom himself. What an intimate journey this has been, seeking the Lord’s will and opening my vulnerable heart to voice what I really, really want.
Do you know what the Lord has done in answer to my prayers? He has led me back to this lovely place that I’ve been away from for almost a year, where the cursor stands blinking on the top of the blank page. He has brought me to paper where I share my heart with you. I wasn’t sure if he was done with me in my writing, but now I am confident he is not. At the pharmacy there was no place for my creative mind to express itself, and I was slowly shriveling up inside. I believe it’s back in this place of writing where the homemaking and the income and my gifts will come together. I don’t know how it will play out, but I’m leaning hard on the Lord every day and carefully following his lead, as he straightens my path in front of me. The spark is back in my eyes again after years of working outside of my strengths, and my heart is peaceful and excited all at the same time.
Are you a woman who finds herself with a heart twisted in knots, trying to find your way between working to pay the bills and being at home and pursuing how to use your gifts in a life-giving way? The same Master Craftsman who delighted over creation is the one who stands ready to be at your side today. Ask him for wisdom and know that he gives generously to all without finding fault. Don’t doubt that he will show you what wisdom looks like for your special life. He has creative ideas for you, if you’re willing to lean in and let him guide you. It’s okay to ask for all that you need and all that you desire.
The whole time I am reading about you working at the pharmacy I am thinking but you can write, this is your great talent! That is what I see as your gift. You are probably a good Pastors wife and good at ministering to the ladies in your Bible study group. Now, I have not listened to Dave R in a long time but he encouraged the “man” of the household to take on extra work. Pizza delivery is what I recall. I think you need to focus on your home and ministry where God has placed you. It would be nice too if the church would give you a small increase in pay. Welcome back to writing! You have been missed.
Thank you for speaking this precious encouragement over me. I do feel most alive when I’m putting my heart on paper. I appreciate the warm welcome back.
I literally searched my inbox for your name last week hoping I had missed a new post and nothing. I was afraid you had quit writing and was so bummed. Then your name showed up today and I’m so grateful. I was missing an old friend I don’t even know. Your words are so comforting and encouraging. I keep some printed copies of your blog posts and reread them from time to time. I to am in a place of not knowing what to do with myself. Been at the same job for 30 years and would love something new, would love to quit all together and help on our farm and help with my first grandbaby too but like you not sure the bank account would agree. I get so discouraged and disappointed when nothing changes but I try to pray for a better attitude and go on. I know I am very blessed and it could be much worse. So glad you are back and pray God gives you more direction.
This is the sweetest word to me, that you and I can be friends even though we’ve never met in person. I encourage you to be brave in your prayers and actively seeking a way to be at home and be grandma. I don’t think we get enough encouragement to do this. I pray the Lord will show you away to still supplement your family income. May he guide you into his perfect wisdom for your situation.
I have MISSED you!!! I’ve thought about emailing you, but I knew you were busy with your grands and assumed with coaching.
Christy, I truly believe this is where God wants you, and He’s going to bless you as you bless so many others!
Thank you for that encouragement. I certainly have been on a journey the last few years, and I’m excited to be communicating again!
p.s. You’re an excellent writer, Christy. Your blogs are always so easy to read, yet so enriching, inspiring, and encouraging. I’m praying the LORD will open a fresh pathway for you in your writing, because I for one really enjoy receiving an email from you! I’m sure other ladies feel the same. ❤️
You’re always so kind to me! Thank you, friend.
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Christy, it’s so nice to hear from you again. I am also 56 ~ and my sister, who would have turned 55 in December, passed away from a terrible cancer at the end of August. This has flipped my world upside down, and my soul inside out ~ and I, too, have felt lost and befuddled and directionless as I’ve been grieving the loss of the one little lady who was closer to me than anyone in the world!! 🥺😭 The LORD in His grace and mercy is walking me through it, teaching me new things, giving me new breath, and refreshing me with new & purposeful direction. Your words come at a time when I needed to hear them ~ if for nothing else but to let me know I’m not alone, age 56, feeling somewhat like a lost little lamb. But also, seeing the sun rise on the new path the LORD has laid out for next steps. Isn’t He just so sweet to us? 🌸🏵🌸🌿tina
How sad to lose your dear sister. My heart aches for you. I know how my mom felt when her sister passed and not being able to pick up the phone and talk to her. May the Lord comfort your broken heart.
thank you very much ~ this has definitely been the hardest thing that’s ever happened in my life. i’m just so grateful to know Jesus has her safe in His Kingdom. that’s my greatest comfort!! 🥹 i sincerely appreciate your reply, Christy. 💕 The LORD bless you.
So good to see you post again! Your writing never fails to touch my heart and encourage me.
You encourage me. Thank you!
Oh sweet Christy, I have followed you for 12 years and was excited to see an email of encouraging words (a special gift of yours) in my box this morning. I so understand where you are at in this season and my heart goes out to you knowing though that God will make a straight path to guide you on. Please don’t stop writing. Ever.
I missed the season of life where you stopped teaching Spanish and wondered why you left that. Have you ever thought of teaching (again) in a Christian school doing Bible instruction or in a school offering life skills training like home-ec. I don’t even know what opportunities are near you (are you in Montana?) I’m sorry I have lost track.
I am certain you have thought and prayed about everything, so I only am offering what came to my mind as I read, mostly because I teach at a hybrid Christian school where courses are only MWF giving me two days off a week to scratch the itch of wanting to be home. I am a homebody as well. I’m so thrilled for you and the new grandbaby and I am “in-waiting” for the grandma phase of life. I ponder often how to increase my education (I love learning) and next job steps while always reminding the Lord, I want to be a grandma and have balance of having all of those blessings. Thanks for the reminder that I can ask for all of that!! I pray God answers every need you have in this season in a way only He can. Your friend in Texas. Alisha
You are a patient woman, to stick with me for 12 years! What a precious gift of encouragement this is to me. What the Lord is leading me to is to turn my writing and social media presence toward young women who need to know how to build thriving homes. I am going to be making myself available for one-on-one phone calls as a ministry and income for me, to guide women in a personal way, although I haven’t gotten that set up yet. And yes, I am learning that I tend to think “either-or,” but often God makes a path for “both-and.”
Thank you so much for your transparency on this journey. I truly appreciate and value that you’re not writing from a place of reflection on what you went through, but you’re sharing your heart as you go through. I’ve missed your writing and I am so glad you feel called to step back into this lane.
Thank you for this kind encouragement! It’s a delicate work, to know when to share my experiences and when to remain quiet and just allow God to take me through them.
The excitement I felt when your email showed up today !! I am excited to have you back and you bring much joy to my day. I enjoy your thought provoking thoughts. Thank you for being you and sharing what is on your heart. May the Lord continue to grow us each and everyday. You are a Blessing Christy.
Thank you for this warm welcome back!
Was so happy to wake up and see your blessing in my box. I said to myself “She’s back!”. Praying for God’s provision over your heart and finances. ❤️
God used your encouragement to me when we were cleaning the other day to bring me back to this place of writing! Thank you for speaking kind words to me.
As I was reading your post I thought to myself, how good you are at writing and encouraging others. Over the years you have most certainly helped me!
I know I often discount my $worth and don’t want to think about money but I pray the Lord will bring in the financial needs as you pursue what you are so good at and what you love. I’m cheering for you!
Thank you for sticking with me for years! I appreciate this prayer over our finances.
You could DEFINITELY make money writing books!
You’re so nice! As I was praying over these last months, I used my unemployed time to deep clean my desk and cleaned out a drawer where I had been stuffing scribbled writing ideas into folders for the last dozen years. When I got it all organized, I realized I had a few books’ worth of scribbles in there. Lord willing, those ideas will be something I can bind and share with everyone. I’m really excited about that!
Exciting! You definitely have a gift with words. ❤️
Thank you. God made me with a deep desire to learn and share, and it feels good to do this again.
It’s so good to have you back in this space. I was a young mama when I discovered your blog and I would pour over your words… it brought so much encouragement to my heart and there was much I applied in my own journey! Looking forward to what’s next 😊
This is THE BEST encouragement. The Lord has been moving me toward speaking wisdom to young wives and mothers, to help them build thriving homes. I’m so thankful he used my humble words to help you, and it’s my prayer that I can pour into the lives of more young women. Thank you for your kind words!
I, for one, am so very thankful that you’ve decided to write again! Your devotions have always spoken to my heart and I’ve sure missed them. Praying God will bless your effort and meet your needs- spiritual, emotional and financial ♥️
Thank you for this kind word. And thank you for saying a prayer over me. I appreciate that!
Christy, welcome back! I have missed your writing. Your encouragement & strength over the years is helpful to me & I’m sure many others. I can relate to the career confusion in this season of your life. I experienced something similar.
May God bring you clarity & peace as you begin again on your creative journey. Praying for you.
Thank you for the warm welcome! I just told my husband the other day that I haven’t felt this much clarity and peace for a long time, so the Lord answered your prayer for me before you even spoke it.
Christy!!! I just realized how much i have missed your posts! You are such a blessing and have a wonderful gift in your writing! I am touched, challenged, and moved to action with your words each time! I’m so excited to see what the Lord is going to do through you! ❤️
Thaaaaaaaaaaanks!! You always give me the best encouragement. I feel great clarity and peace about where the Lord wants me to go with my writing. Love you!
Gracious I’ve missed you! I want to be a sponge and soak up all this wisdom that you exude every time you share! We have much in common…I’ve been at home with my 15 year old son and 11 year old daughter for 15 years now…this is our 11th year on our home education journey…I recently let my pharmacy tech certification expire…I have a business administration degree with a concentration in finance and banking only bc I was too discouraged to get one in education, but I honestly cringe at the thought of actually working in the industry I’m supposed to have a somewhat clue about 😌…teaching and writing are my passions…after God, my family, all things beach and coffee of course! I know how to pray specifically for my Montana sister now! I’ve always wanted to visit there…maybe one day! In the meantime, HUGE hugs from your perimenopausal friend in NC 🤠!
Hello North Carolina! I’ve missed our little chats, too. I am now officially menopausal, so let me guide the way. Hahaha. Hormonal changes are no joke. I’m so thankful for the compounding pharmacy I worked at, because they really helped me with that side of things. I pray the Lord will guide you every step of the way, as you look to what the next chapter might look like for you. Love you, my friend I’ve never met in person!
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Good to see you back at it Chris! God is so faithful. He works it all out in His beautifully perfect timing. I’m praying He will put His will in your heart and you will be perfectly in the middle of it, surrendered to Him.
Thank you, friend. He is faithful!! Thank you for speaking a prayer over me. I appreciate it so much. Love you!