Be Ready To Make Adjustments in Stressful Seasons

The last few months and especially the last couple of weeks have been intense, as we have moved into more caregiving for Matt’s sweet aunt who lives with us. This is the very reason we moved in with them seven years ago, so it is a complete joy to be here for this season of her life. But that doesn’t mean it’s easy.

Last week we had Joan in the ER and then a hospital stay. This week I took her to urgent care on Monday, her primary doctor on Tuesday, and her cardiologist on Wednesday. Lots of new med changes and care instructions. My mind and body are telling me that this has been a lot to handle. Yesterday I hit a wall.

One thing I’ve learned over the years is that when stress hits, adjustments have to be made to mitigate the stress. I think sometimes when life gets hard, we try to keep going, doing all of the normal things we’ve always done and wondering why we feel like we’re about to crater. But we have the power to make changes to help ourselves. Let me tell you a few things I did in one day that helped me catch my breath.

I had a million things to do, but I felt like I couldn’t get a deep breath because I’d been living on adrenaline for days. So I made myself lunch and sat down and watched a Hallmark movie. Sometimes it really helps to pick up a novel or watch a movie, to lose yourself in another story and allow your mind to take a break from thinking about what’s hard. 

I also pulled frozen soup out of the freezer and gave myself the night off from thinking about what to make for dinner. 

I did a load of laundry and ran a few errands, because my own growing to-do list was stressing me out. None of the regular daily to-do’s stop just because life gets hard. Instead of taking a nap, which is what I felt like doing, I gave my brain the gift of crossing several things off of the errand list. This allowed me to relax in the evening and feel less overwhelmed.

It was time to transplant my garden seedlings into bigger pots, so that evening I spent an hour with my hands in potting soil, which was therapeutic in every way. Matt hovered around and helped, and it was good for the two of us to talk about something as simple and fun as the garden, taking a break from talking about illness and medications and prognoses.  

It was our regular weekly Bible study, but I told Matt I thought I might stay home and relax. He agreed that was a good idea. 

I also worked on breathing, because in the middle of difficulty I often find that my shoulders have been scrunched up and I’ve been breathing very shallowly. So all day long, I breathed in for four and out for eight.

I also expressed gratitude to the Lord, for the honor of being in this house to love and care for this woman. Gratitude requires lifting our eyes above the situation and communing with God, which helps infuse a reminder of the bigger picture of what’s happening and all that is good in the middle of hard. Sometimes a feeling of purpose can get lost in the weeds when stress hits, and gratitude restores that. God is good and he does good and wants me to persist in doing good, and that is meaningful. 

I called my mom, because it’s good to talk to someone who cares when you’re going through a hard time. Suffering alone leads to more pain, whereas suffering with a caring friend eases pain. 

All of these actions combined helped me greatly, and I was able to relax and get a good night of sleep. 

So if you have been slammed with some new stress that has your cortisol levels soaring through the roof, stop and think. What can you say no to or adjust in your daily routine that will help you catch your breath and give you a little rest of mind, body, and spirit? What are some simple activities that would ease stress and bring refreshment? Are there permanent changes that need to be made, to accommodate the difficulty of the new situation you’re in? Maybe you can’t keep doing life in the same way you once were. It’s okay to make necessary changes. Think of it like stopping at a water station in the middle of the race, to get some water and a couple of orange slices so that you have fuel to keep going. It’s not selfish or indulgent; it’s wise self care that gives you stamina to keep going.