I wish I were the one who were to decide when a baby would be in the womb and when you would hear the words “You got the job!” and when the house would sell and a guy propose and the money come in.
But I’m not.
Your name comes to me, though, when I hear Job say, “I cry out to you, O God, but you do not answer; I stand up, but you merely look at me.” (Job 30:20 NIV)
I smile quietly.
Job can’t help himself. He has had such an intimate relationship with God for so long that even when his life falls apart he can’t help but talk to God about it. Even when God stands there and seems to do nothing, it’s God himself Job complains to.
This is when our relationship with the Father is most beautiful, when we want to scream at his quietness but love him too much to go anywhere else. And when we’re losing it with anxiety, loneliness, pain, and longing for life to get better, God is right in the center of it. He takes the brunt of the frustration, and there’s an intimate fierceness in how we come to him, like a woman sobbing against her man’s chest.
Job claims God is merely looking and doing nothing to help.
But God’s mighty is at work on Job’s behalf, to stay the death blow of Satan. God is near, watching Job’s faithfulness, limiting what can come against his servant.
Still intimate but for a season not in the way Job would like.
Job breathes in. Breathes out. Because God is making sure this exchange of air is happening in every minute.
The breath of life is the proof God has not left.
My sweet friend, beat your hand against the chest of God and feel his presence, strong and steady. Wet his shirt with your tears and smell the scent of his closeness. Put your hand in front of your face and feel the warm breath come from your mouth and nose. You are breathing this moment because God protects and sustains your life for a reason.
He is close, and he is doing more than you can see.