What Is Your Proper Role in Decision-Making?

What Is Your Proper Role in Decision-Making? -christyfitzwater.comI’m a layer-outer. When I was going to Uganda over a decade ago, I started packing two months in advance. The guest room was empty, so I set up my suitcase in there and started making neat piles of travel supplies. Every day for weeks I stood in the guest room, thought through my list, and looked at my piles, slowly laying out every possible item I could imagine needing in Africa.

Think, think, think. To quote Pooh. Do I have every medicine? Every toiletry? Every clothing item? Enough books and pens and journals for the trip over? (Nerd.) Teaching supplies? Money? Passport? Fanny pack? Sun hat?

I was thorough and possibly neurotic.

But I’ve discovered I also have a tendency to be a layer-outer when it comes to making decisions. How is this decision going to play out? How can I make sure that I have done everything perfectly so that everything goes perfectly? We all want to know the outcomes of our decisions, laid out in nice, neat piles just the way we want them. Everything planned. All the results of our decisions faultless, with no unpleasant consequences of any kind.

That was my usual though process, until we approached the big decision of whether we were going to move in with Matt’s mom and aunt. The Spirit brought to mind Proverbs 3:5-6:

Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight. (NIV)

“Ahem,” the Lord said. “I am the layer-outer, sister. Your role is just to acknowledge me and lean on me through this decision-making process. Got it?”

Dallas Willard, in Renovation of the Heart, says it bluntly:

I do not have to make things come out right. I am not the one in control of outcomes.

Try saying that out loud: “I am not the one in control of outcomes.” Doesn’t come off of the tongue easily, does it?

A doubt bubbled up inside of me, during our Year of Decision, and I had to stare it in the face. What if God didn’t make my path straight? What if I leaned on him and he let something happen that I didn’t want to happen? What about my what ifs? Trust me, he said. Lean on me. But could I really make a decision in the blind, trusting that no matter what he was going to straighten out my path in front of me?

It was around then that I decided God was good and kind that I would trust him. I would lean on him. I would acknowledge that he was in control of all outcomes. Turning to the Lord in worship became my daily habit. Trust and lean. Trust and lean. He is good. He is kind. He cares about me.

The outcome of our decision? My relationship with God put down deep roots, and I learned to enjoy leaning. That was the outcome.

What decisions are you facing? Are you losing sleep, laboring to control how everything is going to turn out, when control does not actually belong to you? Try leaving the path-straightening to Jesus.

10 Comments

  1. Ellen Cole says:

    Sheesh Christy. Get out of my brain already!!! 😀
    Once again…this is me. Need to practice what you preach.

      1. You’re absolutely forgiven. ?

  2. I am trusting God to work just about everything out. I have no control, nor do I really want it. I only want His best for us. Funny, but sometimes that feels like I’m not doing my “part,” you know the worrying and mental planning and dreaming I used to do?! God took me through a very difficult season over the past three years, but I now see that painful time was
    preparation for the unimaginable loss of our home and entire community (Paradise, CA) last November. I have my days, believe me, where I’m in the midst of a numbness mixed with mourning. I feel mostly like I’m in a little boat drifting forward, but waiting for the official destination to be laid out so I can set sail. Somewhere between “the past” and “the future.” But I know The One who holds our future?. Thank you for the encouragement, Christy.

    1. Claudia, I’ve thought about and prayed for your family so often! The rest of the world moves on, while you all still struggle to rebuild your lives.

      You make a GREAT point. It almost feels like we’re being lazy and irresponsible, to leave so much in the Lord’s hands. During our decision making time, I asked the Lord, “Is it really this easy? I can just pray and leave the future in your hands?” Seems a little too good to be true!

      I pray the Lord will continue to take care of all of your needs -the outward physical needs and the deep heart needs. May you feel him surrounding you on all sides. Hugs to you, sister!!

      1. Claudia C Chapman says:

        Exactly…I’ve actually thought it seems too easy. (When you’re exhausted it actually IS easier to let go!) My people are under tremendous strain. Two godly men in their fifties from our little church have suffered heart attacks in the past two weeks, one going to be with the Lord. He was sifting the remains of his own home with a team from Samaritan’s Purse when he died. We need the prayers of the body of Christ as we forge the way forward from our pasts to our future. So, thank you for praying! Your postings are a blessing to me each time you share with us. Knowing you have kept us in prayer makes my heart glad?

        1. Oh my word, that’s really hard! It’s not surprising that the stress from losing one’s own home and possessions and TOWN would have an effect on a person’s heart. After my dad passed away and it was such a hard year in so many years, I could really feel the effects of the strain on my body. It squeezes my heart for all of you, and I’m very far removed from the reality of it all. Well, may God be glorified in all of your stories!

  3. Penny Eaves says:

    Christy, I can SO identify with you. I don’t know if it is a “teacher” trait that is hard to let go of but this:
    I’ve discovered I also have a tendency to be a layer-outer when it comes to making decisions. How is this decision going to play out? How can I make sure that I have done everything perfectly so that everything goes perfectly?

    That was my usual though process, until … The Spirit brought to mind Proverbs 3:5-6:

    Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight. (NIV)

    “Ahem,” the Lord said. “I am the layer-outer, sister. Your role is just to acknowledge me and lean on me through this decision-making process. Got it?”
    I am currently dealing with a situation I have no control over…a med needs approval to continue and there is a delay. SO, “Trust in the LORD with all your heart” is exactly the reminder I needed. Thanks!

    1. Oh Penny, your long medical journey. I pray the Lord will take care of all of your physical needs!

  4. Elizabeth Colucci says:

    Great biblical advice!

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