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On Relationship Failings

Looking for answers about our relationship failings.  -christyfitzwater.com

I spent all day in this beautiful lodge, listening to a professor from Wheaton College speak at our teacher in-service training, but I was taken off guard when he said something that answered a question I had been asking the Lord for a few weeks.

My question: Why in the world does God often give us insight and wisdom about relationships after we’ve already messed up in them?

It seems mean, Lord, that you let us flounder around when you could just tell us how to handle things right off the bat, I have said in fear and trembling.

This professor from Wheaton teaches a class at his college for beginning teachers, and he said one time he gave them instructions to give a diagnostic test. But they were about to administer it at the wrong time.

I let them do it, he said. Sometimes it’s easier to let them make the mistake and teach from it than to try to explain it to them beforehand.

I sucked in air.

Does the Lord do that? The Lord must do that sometimes –see us about to make a mistake and just let it happen. On purpose.

Easier and more effective to teach from it afterward than to explain it all beforehand?

Let me tell you about this professor from Wheaton –he knew his stuff. Even in a room full of seasoned teachers he had our attention all day and was raising a lot of discussion. When he said he let those students go ahead and make the mistake, I could feel the experienced confidence that he was making the best choice for them.

God is a teacher.

Just then a man came up to Jesus and asked, “Teacher…”  (Matthew 19:16 NIV)

We have to decide whether we trust the Teacher’s tactics.


  1. Christine says:

    Wow this is certainly the case for me right now a painful one, bless you thanks x

    1. I think finding God in the middle of relationships is one of the greatest challenges there is. Thank the Lord for his grace on his!

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