Pray Your Biggest Prayer
There are a few things I long to have happen, but they seem so out of reach and impossible that I keep retreating from the throne of God, shaking my head and muttering Nevermind. You probably wouldn’t want to do this for me. (Shamefully doubting his love and care for me.) But as I hesitated to pray my real desires today, I got to reminiscing about all of the big prayers I’ve prayed in the past.
Like when I filled out an application to be a National Acteen Advisory Panelist my junior year of high school, knowing only six teenage girls from the entire nation would be chosen to represent this mission education organization for the Southern Baptist Convention. But I held the finished application in my hand and said, “Lord, if you want me to be on this panel, you can make it happen.” I was chosen, and that honor led to a full-ride scholarship to a private school in Texas I had never heard of. And that school in Texas is where I met the charming Montana guy who has truly shown me the love of Jesus every day we’ve been married.
Like when I prayed for my friend from high school who broke my heart one day when he announced he was an atheist. Four years after graduation and regularly praying for him, we crossed paths. He showed me his cross necklace and told me about how he had come to know Jesus.
Like when I privately whispered a prayer and told the Lord that if he would provide the cash, I would go to Hawaii to honor my husband’s long-time dream (even though I don’t like hot places and had zero desire to go). That year we started paying a tax professional to do our taxes, and that’s when I found out that in my ignorance I had been paying double social security tax for two years and we would be getting a big refund–enough for plane tickets and food money. A friend from church offered the free use of his Big Island condo and red convertible Mustang. So we went to Hawaii on our 15th wedding anniversary, and I will admit that it was dreamy.
Like when I held my hand over my pregnant belly and hounded God incessantly for the salvation of my children every day before they were born. Last weekend my son preached at our church, and my daughter has been teaching her little ones hymns and talking to them about Jesus. I am grateful that they have humbled themselves before God.
Like when I prayed with tears for 10 years that God would help us get out of debt. We were able to pay off all of our consumer debt, and we have not returned to that lifestyle. (I keep writing about this, but when you cry and pray for a decade over something, you can’t help but to keep bringing up in conversation the fact that God answered the prayer.)
Like when I prayed and prayed for a new opportunity for Matt, and at just the time when we were ready to leave our last church, the Lord opened the door for us to land at Glacier Church. Our joy with this new congregation is great. They needed us, and we needed them.
So many big prayers I’ve prayed–some only a few times and some for years. I have big prayers in front of me now, and sometimes I’m tempted to shrink back and have no hope that they could ever come true or that maybe they won’t come true the way I would like. But then I remember that God is honored when I keep asking, keep seeking, keep knocking. He has repeatedly done abundantly more for me than I ever could have imagined. So I chastise myself for having small faith in God, and I make my big requests of him. I put the outcome in his loving hands.
When is the last time you thought back over all of the big prayers God has responded to of yours? How have you seen him at work in your life? This is a good time to get out a piece of paper and pencil and start listing them. Then, when you remember how good he has been to hear you and respond to your prayers, you can launch your newest big ask–the one you’ve been afraid to say out loud. Trust the Lord with the deepest desires of your heart.