How Do Christians Self Soothe?

His brother was carefully lining up dominoes in a straight line on the floor, and this two-year-old little man wanted to do exactly the same thing, except his dimpled fingers weren’t able to pull off the same precision. I could see his frustration growing, until finally he pushed the dominoes away, screamed, and stood up. After an adult-like pause, he let out a great sigh and said to himself, “I need my cow.”

Off he went to find his ultra-soft, much-loved, and increasingly filthy stuffed cow, which he promptly laid down on, kissed, and stroked his face against it.

Same, kid, I thought.

 It’s been a few super hard weeks in our lives, with painful news from friends coming in bam, bam, bam from three directions. A family member is suffering with cancer. Election stress and the “What will happen?” question has loomed large, and even after the election we ask, “Will Trump even be safe?” So many heavy things.

I need my cow.

We do need soothing, but how do we find this as adult followers of Christ? I’m going to throw out some random ideas that have helped me.

Go to church.

Please tell me you’re walking in to church, to worship corporately with other believers every weekend. There is no way we can walk through the darkness of this world without corporate worship and gathering to encourage one another in the Lord.

Give.

I went and bought the stuff to fill an Operation Christmas Child box. Giving reminds us that good things can happen in this world.   

Work.

I used to type medical reports for an occupational therapist, and he worked hard to get people who had been injured back to work, because he said, “Work is therapeutic.” God made it that way. Busy your mind and your hands to work, and when everything else in the world feels broken, this feels right. Make your contribution to your city’s wellbeing. Fold some socks and put them away. Make homemade soup. Pay the bills. Sweep the kitchen floor.

Eat well

Slice an apple. Eat a handful of cashews. Down a huge glass of water. Roast some broccoli and cauliflower.  

Move

Get oxygen. Breathe. Matt and I went for a walk yesterday. It was 42 degrees. Pink cheeks and fresh air do something for the soul.

Listen to music

The song Soon, by Brooke Ligertwood is on repeat for me right now. The preacher says we need to talk to each other more about Jesus coming back. Ah yes, remember that this dark world is temporary?  

Pray the Bible

Have I gushed over this book to you yet? Gamechanger for me. Praying the Bible, by Donald S. Whitney, is only about 100 pages long, inexpensive, and practicing what this man teaches about praying the Bible will give you words for whatever you’re experiencing. (I’ve been a believer for almost 50 years, and this was a new tool for me.) Remember that as we pray God’s words to him, he listens and gives us what we ask for! Or did you forget? We forget. I recently have been praying Psalm 62:5, “O you who hear prayer.” Pray over all of the heavy things with great hope that God is responding to you by acting.

Have coffee with a friend

Texting is nice, but sometimes you just need to lean over a small table and a hot beverage and laugh and cry and encourage her and be encouraged by her. Suffering feels lighter when we talk about it and help each other carry it.  

Go to the movie

We went to see The Best Christmas Pageant Ever in the theaters this last weekend, and it was delightful and poignant. Plus, there was buttery popcorn. Highly recommended as a bright spot in difficult times.

We’re in a war, you know. That’s why we’re tired and hurting. We have an active enemy constantly at work to destroy us from every side. We live and work where thorns and thistles grow because of the curse of sin. The need for soothing does not change just because we got big. Maturity is just knowing what to reach for when you need it.

Jesus says, “Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives.” (John 14:27a)

The world offers a thousand ways to soothe ourselves, donuts being one of them. But Jesus soothes our souls in a completely different way than what everyone else is offering. Today I’ve been repeatedly asking the Lord, “How do you want to give me peace today? Because I desperately need it.” You may borrow this question. Because really, we can’t soothe ourselves. We need Jesus.

12 Comments

  1. Jennifer Osborn says:

    This is great. Thank you!! There is so much peace in this.

  2. Lynn Wawrzewski says:

    Thank you Christy, I needed this today.
    We thank God for your gift that you share with the rest of us.
    Lynn

  3. I’m so glad your’e writing again.
    More than any others your timely writing speaks to my weary soul.
    Thank you ,
    Holly

  4. Elizabeth Colucci says:

    Christy,
    Love what you have to say in this article. I continue to just look up for our Savior’s return and desire to serve Him in any way I can.
    Your sister in Christ and with love,
    Elizabeth

  5. So good, Christy. Thank you.
    May I offer one more? Well-worn like that toddler’s beloved cow, it always does the trick for me: gratitude. Just a simple list of all the things that – right this very moment – I am glad for. Things that that are not affected by either the personality or policies of the POTUS, like:
    The way the leaves change color in the fall.
    The crunching sound they make underfoot.
    Songbirds curious enough to eat from a window feeder.
    The soft fur and rumbly purr of a contented cat.
    November sunshine and the sound of windchimes.
    Those last valiant flowers in my beds, still creating buds and opening blooms.
    Four sturdy walls and a trusty roof over my head, come what may.
    A well that – thank God – still sends clear, potable water into my house.
    A freezer full of vegetables, fruit, and meat from our own land and those of local friends.
    More happy green houseplants than I deserve.
    So many interests and hobbies that I’ll never be bored.
    A job that I love, that also teaches me truth.
    and Peace – because my hope is in Christ, on whose shoulders the government rests, no matter who is in the White House.

    1. How could I forget gratitude? Thank you for this wonderful list! And I keep being amazed at my heart snapdragons.

      1. Yep – God’s lavish generosity in the plants he’s created (and allows to flourish under our care!!) is the perfect reminder of his abundant provision, above and beyond all that we could ask or imagine.

  6. Christy,
    Love your writing! It speaks to me like an old friend …..spilling truth into my life. Thanks for the reminder that we all need Jesus…. He is the ultimate “soother” of our souls! Thanks for sharing …..

    1. I never get tired of writing about Jesus. And thank you for your kind words.

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