Dealing with Feeling Empty Before The Sun Is Even Up

“Whose dumb idea was it for you to go to college in Texas?” I threw at him.

He just looked at me and raised his eyebrows.

We were packing his suitcase, and I was having very sad mom feelings. Okay, so it was our idea for him to attend our alma mater in central Texas. Seemed like a fabulous idea, until his Christmas break ended and I started tucking clean socks into his bag.

We took that not-a-boy-anymore to the airport at 5:30 the next morning and then came home and crawled back into bed. That’s about when I had a Charlie horse of the heart.

Oh, God. It hurts to let kids go. Hurts to walk past empty bedrooms.

Squeezing, unrelenting pain.

I reached empty, clutching hands to the Lord. He pulled Psalm 90:14 from my memory and set it firmly into my grasp.

Satisfy us in the morning with your unfailing love, that we may sing for joy and be glad all our days. (NIV)

Unfailing love was just the thing my empty heart needed in that moment, so I made this demanding, expectant prayer: Satisfy me, Lord. Fill me with joy. Make me glad today.

Love, satisfaction, joy, and gladness –these are waiting for us at the beginning of every new day and especially more so on the days when we’re suffering. Right there in my bed, the Lord doctored my pain, until I could get up with a smile that came from a feeling of fullness and being well cared for.

So let me tuck Psalm 90:14 into your hands for this day, and don’t you think you should savor the words until they’re stuck in your memory? Good medicine.