So You’ve Fallen Short
It’s hard to decide what to love him for the most –the fact that he planned this little getaway for us, to dangle in front of me through the grief and stress of this last season of life –or that he got up first and made coffee. He is a good man.
I lay on the king-size, pillow-top mattress, under the down comforter, and this was the view I was waking up to.
From downstairs I could hear the coffeemaker brewing. (If you are French press folk, don’t judge us.) Colter’s Coffee –breakfast blend. My favorite.
But I was having a hard time getting out of bed, because my Spirit was troubled. Like Frodo rubbing his shoulder, I found myself in this beautiful place but with residual pain after going through so many hard things on so many fronts –some of them so personal I haven’t even been able to talk about them here.
Despite the beautiful view and the sound of coffee, the Accuser was at work.
I found him waiting there at the foot of the bed, clipboard in hand. Like roll call, he listed off all the situations and relationships where I have fallen short in the last weeks.
My, what a long list.
I finally made it out of bed, filled my coffee cup, and sat down next to that preacher on the leather couch. There I opened up to a devotional written in Spanish, and it said this (I will translate for you)…
“Every one of us has in our mind the voices of others that accuse us of all our faults and failures through the years.” (Good Morning Girls)
There is an Accuser. He is tireless.
“…the accuser of our brethren…who accuses them before our God day and night.” (Revelation 12:10 NASB)
Day and night.
You fell short. You fell short. You fell short.
And I agree. I did fall short. I did fall short. I did fall short.
Misery. Day and night.
But God has been telling me something in this last week: He loves me –this one who has fallen short.
He knows all of it –what’s true and what’s a lie. All of it. Every good work I’ve failed to do for a friend. Every ugly word I’ve said in a moment of thoughtlessness. Every stingy act.
And this God, who has the most reason to ditch me, is the one who is sticking close.
Scoot in close to me, my husband said to me when I plopped down next to him on the leather couch. This is what getting away together means. Arms touching.
The Lord scoots in close. Shouldn’t you be the one who has the most reason to unfriend me, Lord? I say to him.
There is a passage of Scripture that God has been putting in front of me for the last few weeks. I read it in a devotional. My preacher man read it in a sermon. A friend posted it on Facebook.
For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor any other created thing, will be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord. (Romans 8:38-39 NASB)
This God, who has the most legitimate reason to accuse me, is the most faithful. Not going anywhere.
All those places where I have fallen short?
The blood of Christ covers them all.
Then I heard a loud voice in heaven, saying, “Now the salvation, and the power, and the kingdom of our God and the authority of his Christ have come, for the accuser of our brethren has been thrown down, he who accuses them before our God day and night.” (Revelation 12:10 NASB)
The authority of Christ speaks love and throws down the Accuser.
Throws him down.
So what do we do when the accusations come against us -day and night? Scoot in close -arms touching -to the God who loves.
Christy, I have been following as you’ve shared about your dad passing. My heart went out to you as I read your blog. And then a while later my own Dad suddenly, and inexplicably, came down with pulmonary fibrosis, an incurable lung disease. That was two months ago. My husband and I drove up to Oregon this last weekend to see him. He had a pretty bad night just before we were to leave but the next day was better. So, and here’s what prompted me to write, we decided to go ahead and take our pre-planned road trip to Montana to get away and just enjoy each other and God’s creation. I didn’t get to read your blog until tonight about you also getting away to Montana. I also didn’t get to read it until AFTER my sister had called to let me know Dad was taken to hospital tonight by ambulance. While the exact topic of your blog may not have related to my situation, just seeing your name and that you were in Montana recently, caused new to be encouraged as I remembered how God walked with you during those days. So I just wanted you to know that. And while I’m writing this my brother had just called and dad is breathing a little better. God is good. We are praying God sustains Dad a while longer as we aren’t ready to be without him (is anyone ever ready for that?) Also there are legal papers that are outdated which Dad had begun to deal with. God’s timing is perfect and we are trusting Him. Please keep writing. You never know how your words may encourage someone.
Blessings, Cheryl C.
Hello -did you get my email I sent you? I replied but wasn’t sure it went through. How is your dad doing? Praying that God will encourage and strengthen your family through this hard time.
I was so happy to hear that man of yours whisked you away (not that I’m surprised that he’d do something wonderful like that)! I pray you rest well – in your spirit as well as in body. Thank you for your encouragement and reminder to stay close. Well said. (And I’ll try to overlook the fact that you resorted to a coffeemaker, rather than French press 😉
Blessings, my friend! ~ Lisa
Thank you, Lisa. We had such a wonderful time -good for the soul.
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