It’s hard to decide what to love him for the most –the fact that he planned this little getaway for us, to dangle in front of me through the grief and stress of this last season of life –or that he got up first and made coffee. He is a good man.
I lay on the king-size, pillow-top mattress, under the down comforter, and this was the view I was waking up to.
From downstairs I could hear the coffeemaker brewing. (If you are French press folk, don’t judge us.) Colter’s Coffee –breakfast blend. My favorite.
But I was having a hard time getting out of bed, because my Spirit was troubled. Like Frodo rubbing his shoulder, I found myself in this beautiful place but with residual pain after going through so many hard things on so many fronts –some of them so personal I haven’t even been able to talk about them here.
Despite the beautiful view and the sound of coffee, the Accuser was at work.
I found him waiting there at the foot of the bed, clipboard in hand. Like roll call, he listed off all the situations and relationships where I have fallen short in the last weeks.
My, what a long list.
I finally made it out of bed, filled my coffee cup, and sat down next to that preacher on the leather couch. There I opened up to a devotional written in Spanish, and it said this (I will translate for you)…
“Every one of us has in our mind the voices of others that accuse us of all our faults and failures through the years.” (Good Morning Girls)
There is an Accuser. He is tireless.
“…the accuser of our brethren…who accuses them before our God day and night.” (Revelation 12:10 NASB)
Day and night.
You fell short. You fell short. You fell short.
And I agree. I did fall short. I did fall short. I did fall short.
Misery. Day and night.
But God has been telling me something in this last week: He loves me –this one who has fallen short.
He knows all of it –what’s true and what’s a lie. All of it. Every good work I’ve failed to do for a friend. Every ugly word I’ve said in a moment of thoughtlessness. Every stingy act.
And this God, who has the most reason to ditch me, is the one who is sticking close.
Scoot in close to me, my husband said to me when I plopped down next to him on the leather couch. This is what getting away together means. Arms touching.
The Lord scoots in close. Shouldn’t you be the one who has the most reason to unfriend me, Lord? I say to him.
There is a passage of Scripture that God has been putting in front of me for the last few weeks. I read it in a devotional. My preacher man read it in a sermon. A friend posted it on Facebook.
For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor any other created thing, will be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord. (Romans 8:38-39 NASB)
This God, who has the most legitimate reason to accuse me, is the most faithful. Not going anywhere.
All those places where I have fallen short?
The blood of Christ covers them all.
Then I heard a loud voice in heaven, saying, “Now the salvation, and the power, and the kingdom of our God and the authority of his Christ have come, for the accuser of our brethren has been thrown down, he who accuses them before our God day and night.” (Revelation 12:10 NASB)
The authority of Christ speaks love and throws down the Accuser.
Throws him down.
So what do we do when the accusations come against us -day and night? Scoot in close -arms touching -to the God who loves.