It’s Okay for Groaning To Be Part of Your Life
“Wednesday Hump Day,” I said to him last night before we went to sleep. He’ll go up to Glacier Bible College and be Professor Fitzwater again today, teaching students this week about the life of Christ. I’ll go stand in front of high school students and teach them sentences in Spanish about the gospel. We feel our own inadequacy.
“Meanwhile we groan,” I said. “Groan” must be an onomatopoeia, because he made that sound in agreement.
This statement is from a Bible passage that I just discovered, and I asked God if he could please hug Paul for saying these words:
Meanwhile we groan, longing to be clothed with our heavenly dwelling, because when we are clothed, we will not be found naked. For while we are in this tent, we groan and are burdened, because we do not wish to be unclothed but to be clothed with our heavenly dwelling, so that what is mortal may be swallowed up by life. (2 Corinthians 5:2-4 NIV)
The other day I met with my high school principal for an evaluation meeting. Students had completed anonymous surveys about teachers, and he had a copy of the comments they made about me. Right there on one page were statements students had made about my strengths and weaknesses. When I got home, all I could remember were the critical comments.
I groaned and felt burdened.
Naked.
Unclothed.
Isn’t this how we feel all the time? When I was a mom of littles, I constantly felt my own weakness and inability to maintain the example of whom I was trying to raise them to be. I groaned often, as I would go into one of their bedrooms and apologize for something I had said or done that just wasn’t right.
As a daughter-in-law, I groan inwardly when I get to the end of a day, feeling the weight of how I could have done life better in this house we’re sharing.
Definitely I groan as a teacher. My job description is to set an example of living for Christ, and my lessons are often about God and his goodness. Then I’m short-tempered or say something thoughtless, and there it is again –my sinful nature sharing the same body as my new nature.
The more we know Jesus and devour his words, the more we see the gap between his beautiful perfection and our glaring shortcomings. He loves us. He accepts us. We know these truths, but still we long to skip all of the growing and becoming and just get to the finished product. Bring heaven, please. No more warring with our sinful selves.
Meanwhile…
We groan and long to be clothed with our heavenly dwelling, and this is a dissatisfaction and unhappiness that is okay. It means we’re wishing for something real and something good that is ahead of us, but the days in this “tent” are long and the struggle against our own flesh is wearying. We often feel naked, as if we should be wearing something beautiful but it’s in the wash.
It’s okay, I’m telling you. It’s okay to be profoundly aware of our weakness and to long for the day ahead of us when Jesus will make it all better.
Thank you. This post was like having someone tell me to put my head down and rest for a moment. It’s okay. It’s okay.
It is okay, sister. Maybe sometimes we just need permission to acknowledge that we’re in a battle and we’re tired.
So thankful for your blog. Found myself, just this afternoon, warring against my flesh (you know, the devil on one shoulder and the angel on the other) and wept explaining to Jesus that “this is not who I want to be”. I felt an overwhelming pull to thoughts that are not good and just started quoting scripture to combat those thoughts. No matter how “strong” we think we may be, if we are not in His word on a daily basis and in continual conversation with him we battle against the enemy. Thank you for taking the time to share truths that God has put on your heart, Christy.
I’ve made that statement a thousand times, “This is not who I want to be!” It’s a good prayer, really.
Thank you! Thank you for this powerful and timely post. I have been wrestling God with this very topic for well over a year and it has almost defeated me on many occasions. I have tried to express the battle I have been in to spiritual mentors and friends add found little understanding or even compassion – only rebuke really. In this one article God has shown me that there is someone who understands, my hope renewed and it’s ok, I’m ok. This battle is normal I don’t recall having read Paul’s words that you shared and they give me relief, strength to keep going.
I love reading your blog, It often is just what I need to hear at just the right time, God has worked through your words to wrap me in hugs when I have longed for Him the most. Yet nothing has struck me as deep as this article, thank you for sharing, thank you for helping me be ok with my battle and thank you for the comfort you give me.
God reaches me through your words.
Shanna, I’m so glad to hear from you! We live in a culture (which has infected the church) where people try to build us up and tell us we’re awesome and strong. When I’ve been honest about my struggle with sin in the past, I’ve had Christian women scold me and tell me, “Oh, you’re not so bad! You’re being too hard on yourself!” This kind of thinking flies in the face of the gospel, which tells me I am a wretch in need of a Savior. C.S. Lewis says it’s a relief when we finally stop dressing up like idiots and trying to pretend there’s nothing wrong with us. That’s strong language! And I just read this old quote by a minister, “Most of human power and greatness seems as full of iniquities as a carcass is full of maggots.” When I read this, I almost wept with joy. Yes! That’s how I feel! And I think when we look in the face the truth of our fallen condition, that is when we love Jesus the most. We need his help so badly, and we need people in church to be honest about their groaning and their burden under sin. Certainly this always needs to be paired with the hope Jesus offers to us, but we can’t ever separate our depravity from that hope.
It’s okay to say that we’re not okay. In fact, until we’re willing to admit that we will never hunger for Christ.
I’m glad if you were encouraged. Thanks for taking the time to write!
From one sinner to another. 🙂
Christy