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God in the Night

I was awake at 1:45 a.m., barely three hours into my night of sleep.


I wonder if that Spanish website will work. I’ll be back to square one if it doesn’t. Need to get the truck oil changed in Whitefish, but that will take two hours –can I afford two hours today? Should I try to do my housecleaning list or just bag it during this crazy week? What can I do that would be special with my kids today. How can I work on lesson plans and be mom? I can’t bear to send my girl to college –feel like I’ve barely enjoyed her this summer as much as I would like. Broil the elk steaks or crock pot? What time do I need to start the homemade fries if I broil the steaks? I wonder if I should exercise first thing in the morning or write a blog post. 

A furious squall of thoughts.

Does God care that I'm awake with anxiety?  -christyfitzwater.com

Finally I slid out from under the covers and went downstairs. Read the Facebook newsfeed. Checked email. Got the Spanish website login to work –thank the Lord!

When I felt like I had de-railed my runaway thoughts with distraction, I laid down in my usual second-half-of-the-night insomnia location on the downstairs couch. Anxious thoughts started to gain speed again, and I groaned Father

It was a call for help.

Immediately my mind, body, and soul relaxed into a surprising peace.

“A furious squall came up, and the waves broke over the boat, so that it was nearly swamped…[Jesus] got up, rebuked the wind and said to the waves, ‘Quiet! Be still!’ Then the wind died down and it was completely calm.” (Mark 4:37,39)

That is exactly what happened to me from under the quilt.

I went right to sleep.

And to think that the disciples accused Jesus of not caring what happened to them…


  1. I hate that you deal with this anxiety and racing thoughts, I would not wish this affliction on my worst enemy….. I’m sending up a prayer for you to be freed from this affliction. Thank you for being so real. 🙂

    1. Racing thoughts -my family would say that’s a perfect description of what my brain is always doing. It’s not really a problem until those thoughts jump track and race in the wrong direction in the middle of the night! Thank you VERY much for the prayers.

  2. Wonna Goodwin says:

    I know what you are talking about. Every morning my mind starts racing. Thinking about things I have to deal with everyday. Concern if I am going to hear back about a job I applied for and had an interview. Other people have hear back and got a full time position.

    1. There is nothing more humbling and stressful than looking for a job. I pray God puts you in the perfect spot at the perfect time!!

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